Joined a Facebook group for my neighbourhood (sorry spell check, you are incorrect, I’m Canadian! This is an interesting, close-knit group that seem to have lots of opinions. I like to get the latest info on new stores opening in our village and things like that but am a bit leery about the whole thing. There is a Grand Opening of a restaurant down the street that many from this Facebook community are planning to attend. I want to go BUT I make excuses like :
- Oh, my partner works till 830pm, might be too late to go.
- I haven’t showered today (its Saturday, I’m depressed and I didn’t go anywhere today so don’t judge!)
- I might get too anxious and say something stupid or worse, they could ask about my work . Do I tell them I am off on disability? Don’t think so.
- I can’t drink to calm my nerves. I am staying away from alcohol, as it is a depressant.
So, as I was writing this, I walked away twice to go “freshen up”, thinking I still have an hour before my partner gets home, then we could go. I want to go but I keep coming up with reasons why I shouldn’t go. I’m anxious, plain and simple. My anxiety is winning.