Anxiety 101

My new, but dear friend just messaged me on Facebook saying she is back from the hospital after having her cervix, ovaries and uterus out.  I have been looking after her 2 cats, going over there feeding them twice a day, hoping I won’t disappoint my friend.  I hope I feed them just right.  I hope I don’t do something wrong while over there, etc…

She said she was home in the Facebook message and couldn’t find one of her cats.  OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!

Whew! 10 minutes just passed, the cat appeared.  Oh shit, was getting very anxious.  I so don’t want to screw this up, I want to be there for my friend in her time of need.  She is a bit older than myself and doesn’t have a lot of friends.  She lives alone so it will be tough for her for the next few weeks.  She can’t do any stairs or drive so I will need to help her there as well.

I hope I don’t have a real mental breakdown in that time.  I need to keep it together for a few weeks which might be hard.  I do feel better than 10 days ago when I was in the throes of my Cymbalta withdrawal after switching to Zoloft.  I was convinced at the time there was no way I could look after someone else, let alone myself.  That has subsided.  I re-added Clonazapam to my diet.  Actually, my GP gave me a prescription for a few of them while my whole Cymbalta thing was happening and my psychiatrist was away.  Takes the edge right off but I get sleepy and don’t want to do anything which is fine I guess.  I can’t have one today, I need to go over and look after my friend tonight before she goes to bed and stuff.

medicatedSo today I am putting on a brave face and putting my big girl pants on because I am needed.

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