Today I went to the counseling session with the nurse, that my GP had set up for me. I was anxious all morning just thinking about the appointment. Will I start crying? (I did) Will it be embarrassing talking about my depression and anxiety with a total stranger? (It was).
I had told my GP a bit back that my psychiatrist was useless and I wanted a referral to another one. She obliged and set up this appointment with the nurse for a “talking session” in the meantime. Today was the appointment and my partner drove with me. She was off work today and is always supportive. I cried for most of my appointment but we discussed things my psychiatrist never discusses. Usually he just stares at me while I cry for 20 minutes, then asks if I need any refills. This was a nice change of pace and it was a whole hour of actual interaction. My anxiety slowly melted away the longer the appointment went on, as I felt very at ease with her. We have a follow up in 2 weeks.
When I had arrived home today, there was a voice mail on my telephone answering machine (yes I still have a land line). It was my referral to a new psychiatrist I had just asked for about 2 weeks ago from my GP. I have my moron psychiatrist at 9 am tomorrow so after that I will call back the new psychiatrist’s office when I return home. This is giving me hope. Hope that if I just keep trudging along, there might be some light at the end of the tunnel. New hope brings with it, new opportunities.
I saw this cartoon on one of the blogs I follow and absolutely love, Motivating Giraffe.