Today is brought to you by the letter “B” and I choose for it to stand for “BROKEN” as part of the A to Z Blog Challenge.
My theme for this Challenge is depression and anxiety and all that goes with it.
I often feel like my mind is broken. Not being able to handle simple tasks at times. My struggles with depression and anxiety make me feel like my brain is defective in some way and I guess that is the case in reality. Something inside my head just can’t “shake” the depression away. This makes me feel so inadequate, useless and well, broken.
When I am feeling at my worse and I am in the grocery store or somewhere similar, I often wonder if people know I have a mental illness. Do they know that sometimes I just melt into a puddle of tears and am unable to function? Can they see through the facade? Do they know I’m off work because of my mental health issues?
These are the automatic thoughts that happen most days and it isn’t “normal”. Half the time I don’t realize the destructive conversation inside my head. If I had a visible broken bone, I would get all sorts of help and sympathy I suppose. Something is broken alright, you just can’t see it.