Broken

IMG_9416

Today is brought to you by the letter “B” and I choose for it to stand for “BROKEN” as part of the A to Z Blog Challenge.

My theme for this Challenge is depression and anxiety and all that goes with it.

I often feel like my mind is broken.  Not being able to handle simple tasks at times.  My struggles with depression and anxiety make me feel like my brain is defective in some way and I guess that is the case in reality.  Something inside my head just can’t “shake” the depression away.  This makes me feel so inadequate, useless and well, broken.broken_mind_by_howcouldyoudothat-d6jvp0p

When I am feeling at my worse and I am in the grocery store or somewhere similar, I often wonder if people know I have a mental illness.  Do they know that sometimes I just melt into a puddle of tears and am unable to function?  Can they see through the facade?  Do they know I’m off work because of my mental health issues?

These are the automatic thoughts that happen most days and it isn’t “normal”.  Half the time I don’t realize the destructive conversation inside my head.  If I had a visible broken bone, I would get all sorts of help and sympathy I suppose.  Something is broken alright, you just can’t see it.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Broken

  1. I can definitely relate to this. What’s weird for me is after battling clinical depression from 15 until my very late 20’s…(stemming from sexual abuse) I feel like I’ve overcome the worst of it but yet I still feel like it’s there just waiting to come back at some point. You know? Like it’s nestled deep in my brain waiting for an opportunity and plotting it’s next move.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Almost like some disease that sits dormant until “something” springs it forward back into your life. I felt that way too. I’ve been treated for anxiety for the past year or two but my depression only came back a few months ago. The anxiety and my trying in vain to control it, is what brought it back.

    Like

  3. My experience is mild compared to many people, but I can certainly relate to that “broken” feeling. I can even feel it starting sometimes, but have no ability to stop it. Frustrating.

    Like

  4. I know that feeling so well, there times i felt as though I’d smashed into a million pieces, it’s at odds with what you think a normal life is, and of course we all hide behind this mask which just strengthens our isolation.

    It can and does get better, but takes time, in the meantime life is just challenging on every level unfortunately.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s