Today is brought to you by the letter “I” and I choose for it to stand for “INSOMNIA” as part of the A to Z Blogging Challenge.

My theme for this Challenge is depression and anxiety and all that goes with it.

Everyone now and again loses sleep, it’s a fact of life.  Insomnia is different. Insomnia is a persistent disorder that can make it hard to fall asleep, hard to stay asleep or both, even though you have the opportunity.  My insomnia comes and goes, varying according to my depressive episodes.  Most of the time it’s that giant “hamster wheel” in my head churning all night, that keeps me from slumber.  Sometimes my brain might be quiet but I am just so antsy, writhing around uncomfortably in bed while my partner tries to sleep beside me.  At those times, I’ve learned it’s best to just get up and leave the bedroom for both our sakes.

When my insomnia gets bad, I start noticing subtle hints that I am being effected during the day.  I will get spaced out and feel very lethargic.  I will also start eating more, especially carbs and junk food which amplifies the problem.  I used to take Trazadone at bedtime, now it is Seroquel (quetiapine).  Lately I’ve being doubling my dose in an attempt to tame the “hamster wheel” but after I manage to fall asleep, I awake in a pool of sweat at 2:30 AM, unable to sleep again for hours.

insomnia-canstockphoto6307948-2I know why my insomnia has reared it’s ugly head recently.  It’s because my parents are returning from their Winter home down south and I haven’t seen them in a few months.  It’s always awkward around them because they want to talk about my depression and anxiety, but don’t know how to act or what to say.  They usually just ask my partner how I am doing, in fear of setting me off or something.  They have no clue!  They also ask really dumb questions and I try to be patient but it’s maddening.  Maybe they should read some of my blog posts?  What do you think, should I share a few blog posts with them?


8 thoughts on “Insomnia

  1. Hi there,
    I think you sharing your blog with your family is a great idea. Some times writing down how you feel is an excellent way to express it.
    Have you heard about Mary Ellen Copelands Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP) it helps people develop coping skills and tools for wellness. Hope this helps


  2. We did write very similar today! But in regards to showing your parents, maybe you should. It may be awkward at first but it would give them an uncensored look into your head, and they would have a better understanding maybe. Just food for thought. I always feel weird when I talk about it with my parents, but it’s nice to know they care. Even though I often feel like a burden when they talk about it with me. More so than my friends. It’s part of the negative cogitation that’s still left with mental heath. I feel like I let them down somehow.

    Liked by 1 person

      • And while those are thoughts are natural, it’s important to note that very child will have their own self perceived flaws. Your insomnia and mental illness could have easily have been some other part that a parent could look at as a “burden”. But know you are the farthest thing from.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. At least your parents are asking, and they might surprise you, again another aspect of this illness is self imposed isolation, it’s really hard to talk about it with anyone, and with family members even harder as they might think they are responsible in some way, or just feel terribly sad that your going through this and they don’t know how best to help.

    Perhaps showing a few posts might help at least it will get the dialogue started.

    I’m with you on the sleepless nights, also being menopausal the nights sweats don’t help, and mainly when you do sleep the quality is so poor you might have well just stayed up, there are several routines you can try to aid restful sleep it takes time and can be successful.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think the night sweats are from the Zoloft that I am now on but I am sure being menopausal is contributing, as I also believe it has something to do with my anxiety. I think once they get home and settled, I will bring up the blog topic, will keep everyone posted.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I actually regretted that I gave my parents the link to my blog, so I’d say no. Don’t get me wrong, they’re wonderful parents and I do love them. It’d had been just better to let my blog live without them.

    Insomnia is coming in phases, but they can last several weeks or even months. My psychiatrist was worried today and told me to calm down. I haven’t slept properly for many days, maybe 2-3 weeks. This phase is somehow positive – I’ve so much I want to do, I’m almost manic. Normally, insomnia meant that I was laying in bed and couldn’t sleep. Now I don’t get to bed because I’m hyper. Talking about that… it’s almost midnight here, and I really should go to bed. Now.

    A2Z challenge. Participant number 1333

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for your comments. I was only thinking of letting them read posts, not have access to the site or know the URL. First I would need to explain what a blog is to them as they are 75 years old lol…


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