Today is brought to you by the letter “R” and I choose for it to stand for “REMORSE” as part of the A to Z Blogging Challenge.
My theme for this Challenge is depression and anxiety and all that goes with it.
This post will be very similar to my previous post on GUILT from earlier in the month, as remorse is closely related.
From Wikipedia: Remorse is an emotional expression of personal regret felt by a person after they have committed an act which they deem to be shameful, hurtful, or violent. Remorse is closely allied to GUILT and self-directed resentment.
I personally feel remorse about a particular incident years ago. I tried to hurt myself, fatally. Instead of doing what I was going to do, I ended up somehow at our nearby emergency ward, drunk and crying (I have since learned that alcohol and depression don’t mix well). My parents and partner knew I had taken off from the house, set on hurting myself but had no clue where I was. They called the police, they were looking for me. My parents saw my mental illness in all it’s glory that night and it broke them. I am remorseful about that night long ago. Them at the hospital, out of their mind with worry. I also feel remorse about that night because it was the time I fell from grace so to speak, in my parents’ eyes.
Mental illness can be downright ugly sometimes. Loved ones and friends see you for who you really are and there is no more pretending. The cat is out of the bag I guess. Strange expression.