Today is brought to you by the letter “T” and I choose for it to stand for “THERAPY” as part of the A to Z Blogging Challenge. My theme for this Challenge is depression and anxiety and all that goes with it.
I attend therapy (if that’s what you want to call it), once a week for 20 minutes. Hardly seems like enough time for anything therapeutic if you ask me. I have been trying to get a referral to a new psychiatrist but nobody will accept me because I already have a psychiatrist. (the Quack I wrote about a few days ago)
I had my hopes up earlier in the week when my GP’s office called me with a referral to another psychiatrist. I called and they never called back. A nurse from the GP’s office called again this morning to say the new psychiatrist wouldn’t call me back because they wouldn’t be accepting me as a patient due to the fact they don’t offer “second opinions.” That really bothered me and I keep thinking to myself, “do I have to hurt myself in order to get help?” This upsets me to think like this and I have been crying on and off all day today, unable to control my emotions. My partner came home from work to be with me. She didn’t have to but I appreciated it. To stop the crying, I took a Clonazepam and waited for it to make me drowsy. I laid down and cried myself to sleep.
This is why I need therapy. I think I need a psychiatrist who will work with CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) or something. I’m not really sure what CBT actually is but I heard it might help. I also think I need a psychologist but those are not covered by insurance. All I know is I am very frustrated and need some sort of effective therapy, not the type I am getting now.
I have an appointment with my Quack this morning and my partner is going with me to lay down the law. I don’t have the nerve to do it so my partner will be the “bad guy”. I need to fire my psychiatrist first, so I can get another one which means I will be without my prescriptions and insurance paperwork for awhile. This is not acceptable and brings me back to where I am thinking I need to hurt myself in order to get the help I am looking for. Frustrating.