Well, this feels strange. It has been awhile since I last posted and things have been a mixed bag of anxiety and happiness. Today in particular has been rough. I have been crying on and off most the day. It started with me waking up again on soaking wet sheets. Seems the night sweats are still around and they are every night. I am blaming the medications for now for this embarrassing situation.
My insurance through work, has approved sessions with a psychotherapist which I go see every week for an hour or so. She is really nice but she is fresh out of schooling and has an annoying habit of constantly asking, “Does that make sense?”. To make matters worse, she scrunches up her nose and cocks her head to the side like my dog does when I ask her if she wants to go for a walk. I am agitated so that is why I am being harsh. At least I realize that my anxiety and depression is causing my short fuse and lack of patience. Every little thing makes me irritable. I was so embarrassed and disappointed in myself today when I couldn’t leave the grocery store because there was an older gentleman standing in the doorway, blocking it. Usually this would not bother me in the least but I sighed loudly and told him not to stand in the way, as I hurried past him. He probably did not hear me but I felt horrible I acted this way. I also find myself with a touch of road rage now and again. It is becoming more frequent as of late and this concerns me.
My partner has been away visiting a friend for the past week and it has been tough to say the least. She is my rock, my support system, my everything and I have missed her. We have mostly been using Facetime and Facebook messenger to communicate. As a matter of fact, she was the one who said I should write a blog post and I usually listen to her as she knows what helps me in tough times. I promise to keep posting about my psychotherapy sessions.