Anxiety and Irritability

Well, this feels strange.  It has been awhile since I last posted and things have been a mixed bag of anxiety and happiness.  Today in particular has been rough.  I have been crying on and off most the day.  It started with me waking up again on soaking wet sheets.  Seems the night sweats are still around and they are every night.  I am blaming the medications for now for this embarrassing situation.

My insurance through work, has approved sessions with a psychotherapist which I go see every week for an hour or so.  She is really nice but she is fresh out of schooling and has an annoying habit of constantly asking, “Does that make sense?”.  To make matters worse, she scrunches up her nose and cocks her head to the side like my dog does when I ask her if she wants to go for a walk.  I am agitated so that is why I am being harsh.  At least I realize that my anxiety and depression is causing my short fuse and lack of patience. Every little thing makes me irritable. I was so embarrassed and disappointed in myself today when I couldn’t leave the grocery store because there was an older gentleman standing in the doorway, blocking it.  Usually this would not bother me in the least but I sighed loudly and told him not to stand in the way, as I hurried past him.  He probably did not hear me but I felt horrible I acted this way.  I also find myself with a touch of road rage now and again.  It is becoming more frequent as of late and this concerns me.

My partner has been away visiting a friend for the past week and it has been tough to say the least.  She is my rock, my support system, my everything and I have missed her.  We have mostly been using Facetime and Facebook messenger to communicate.  As a matter of fact, she was the one who said I should write a blog post and I usually listen to her as she knows what helps me in tough times.  I promise to keep posting about my psychotherapy sessions.

Advertisements

Medication

Medication

Today is brought to you by the letter “M” and I choose for it to stand for “Medication” as part of the A to Z Blogging Challenge.

My theme for this Challenge is depression and anxiety and all that goes with it.

I have been on a TON of different medications over the years for depression and anxiety.  Effexor, Luvox, Buspirone, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Wellbutrin, Cipralex, Abilify, Lorazapam, Clonazepam, Diazepam (there are a lot of PAMS) and the list goes on with more forgotten meds.  Recently I stopped taking Cymbalta and went through a bad withdrawal which you can read about on my blog post entitled, ” Cymbalta Withdrawal.”

My current Zoloft dose seems to be giving me really bad night sweats.  I have to change out of my wet pajamas in the middle of the night when I am woken up by the sound of my teeth chattering.  I am doing a lot of laundry these days!  I also have been getting junk food cravings. I want to change this medication but I just started it and it seems to be working.  The night sweats are just getting too much.  The problem is that once I find an anti depressant that works, after a few years it stops working.  It’s like your brain just gets used to the medication.

I sometimes feel like a walking pharmacy and it almost feels like I am being sanitized on the inside, with all this medication I am taking.  Every morning it is the same routine, drink my tea in bed while checking my emails and Facebook.  Then, I try and choke down a hand full of pills with last night’s stale leftover water.  Not sure why I never use the tea for this other than the fact I might gulp it down to quickly.  I like to enjoy my tea in bed or on the deck in the summer, without tainting it’s taste with that medicinal flavour.

My Pharmacy

My Pharmacy

Cymbalta

IMG_9421

Today is brought to you by the letter “C” and I choose for it to stand for “CYMBALTA” as part of the A to Z Blog Challenge.

My theme for this Challenge is depression and anxiety and all that goes with it.

I recently went through a horrible Cymbalta withdrawal.  You can read about it HERE. 

I had tapered off the Cymbalta while adding Zoloft and when I finally ran out of the Cymbalta, all hell broke loose.  If you are on Cymbalta and are thinking about switching medication, just be forewarned and you might want to read my aforementioned blog post on that matter.  medication

The reason I switched my depression medication is because it stopped working.  While being treated for my new found anxiety, my depression came back full force recently.  Cymbalta was working for a few years, kept the depression at bay for the most part but I guess your body gets used to the medication and a change is needed.

Cymbalta (duloxetine) is a selective serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor antidepressant (SSNRI). Duloxetine affects chemicals in the brain that may become unbalanced and cause depression.

Cymbalta is used to treat major depressive order and general anxiety order in adults.  Cymbalta is also used in adults to treat fibromyalgia (a chronic pain disorder), or chronic muscle or joint pain (such as low back pain and osteoarthritis pain).  I noticed it’s mild pain fighting skills only when I stopped taking it.  It was an effective medication for awhile and it might work well for you but be careful when you stop taking Cymbalta, especially without tapering off gradually.